So Julian and I got into a fight. There's this party going on with my friend Christina at the lake. I'm really protective of people I go out with... ok FINE I'm that jealous wreck you hear about all the time. Hes going to go by the way. So we were talking about it and he says "So are you going to go?" and I say "I don't know yet." because her grandmother has to be there for me to go. Then I say, "Can we not talk about it? I get this sinking feeling every time I think about it."
"Why?"
Ok. Big mistake. I told him.
Well, we've been going out for 9 months right? So he gets all huffy and puffy because I'm insecure about myself, and I think that he will cheat on me. NOOOOO! I dont think he will, but it's in the back of my mind. Is that wierd? I hope not. Its one of those things in the VERY back of your mind that you try to block out.
Buuuut, I was at my friends house, and i cant stand it when hes mad at me, so I start to cry!!! >.< So now shes left the room because we're both not good at consoling others, and I wanted to be left alone anyway. But to make a long story short, we made up and now I cant tell him anything anymore.
But the thing was that he told me to tell him what I was thinking. Was I wrong to do that?
About Me
- _-*Kristen*-_
- I am a senior starting this new school year. I have a job in graphic designing and I might have another job at a grocery store soon.
August 19, 2008
And This Is How I Sabotage Myself
Posted by _-*Kristen*-_ at 7:07 PM
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2 comments:
This is tough. I still think you can talk to him about things. he was the one who asked you to talk, so you told him what was on your mind. If he's all mad because you need some reassurance that's messed up on his part. Is this Christian the one who was telling him to rate other girls? I don't think he will cheat on you and it sounds like you don't think that either. It just sucks to not know right? I feel ya.
If you can't tell him your feelings then there is something wrong. I tell my fiancé how I feel about everything and I encourage him to do the same. Jealousy is a natural part of relationships, but maybe you have your feelings confused slightly. Maybe, rather than upset about him going, and scared that he might cheat, you were jealous that he was going without you in the first place, and scared that you might not get to go. Whenever Brandon gets to do stuff without me, especially if I have to stay home or if it's something I really wanted to go to, I always get upset.
Some of us girls just show emotion a little more easily than others. We can't help it, we just do. If he's asking about your feelings on stuff though, then getting upset when you tell him the truth, then you're not in the wrong. He is.
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