Waiting

Waiting

She paced up and down the street wondering where he was. Where who was? She didn’t know. All she knew was that he was coming soon. She didn’t even know how she knew that, it was just there. She didn’t know what had compelled her to stand out in the street at that moment waiting for him. It’s just a little longer, you’ll see him. See who? Her mind was in the middle of a battle between two forces. Instinct vs. rationality. She knew it didn’t make any sense to be standing there in the middle of the night, vulnerable, but something had made her come out there. Instinct had made her, she knew it, and you can’t ignore instinct, even after all of those years of ignoring it. I don’t know why I’m even out here, this is pointless. Just wait, I swear he’s coming. The street was lit by the only lamppost in the neighborhood, and that was about to go out. The light bulb in the socket, was flickering nervously. Her mind was racing, her heart was pumping, her legs were jelly, yet she didn’t know why. All she know was she was here, waiting for him, but the rationality was starting to win the battle, but she couldn’t give up, she couldn’t leave. Not when she was so close to finding him, or he was so close to finding her. Finding who? There’s no one out there, no one coming, you might as well give up. Take one of the regular men, they’ll do just fine. He isn’t coming. She picked her stuff off of the pavement and turned to leave and go back home. NO!!! A voice shouted in her head. Her legs stopped working and she sat down on the warm asphalt. She was becoming irritated, that her instinct wouldn’t let her leave, and that her feet had stopped working. It was cold outside, and she was cold inside and outside as well. Her body was trembling from the freezing weather, and she wanted her warm bed back. Maybe she should give up, maybe this isn’t worth it. It’s too much pain to deal with. She would never find him. She heard the roar of a car and stepped onto the shoulder of the road. It went by, blasting her hair into her face. She smoothed her hair back down and started to leave. No, please don’t give up. I swear he’s coming, just a few more minutes. She didn’t listen this time. She picked up her stuff once again, and turned to walk back into her house, freezing cold. She heard footsteps coming up behind her. Inside of her, a voice sighed and said, Finally. Nevertheless, she reached into her bag to fetch her knife. She turned around to see the source of the footsteps. A silhouetted figure was coming towards her, slowly. It came upon the lamppost and stopped under it. She saw it was a man. The light flickered over him, casting an eerie shadow on his brown hair. Under the lamp, she could see it was a young man, but he had shielded his face, his identity, so she couldn’t see. Her heart was pumping so hard in her chest, she thought it would break through her ribcage. She slowly stared the young man up and down, and came to the conclusion that he wasn’t any threat. She put her knife away, and walked over to him. Careful, he can hurt you. A different voice advised. She stopped under the flickering light, in front of the man. The young woman kissed the top of his head, and pushed his chin up so she could see who he really was. He resisted at first, but finally gave into it. His head slowly came up, and the instant she saw the mans face, she knew that he was the one. She knew that the wait was over, and that he was her true love. The light stopped flickering and shone on the two as bright as ever.

I'm not trying to make these things happen, I swear!!!

I swear I'm not meaning for all of this to happen.



Yesterday was the first football game of the season, and I went there to see us get our asses handed to us. So, the first 2 quarters are going good, no drama and all. Then, halftime comes and goes, and the game gets delayed because of lightning. Well, there's the drama. When the game got delayed, Julian came over and sat with me. I wanted to talk to him, but he pulled out this PSP and started playing it. Well, he didn't even LOOK at me. So I started getting pissed off, no matter what I did, he wouldn't even glance at me. I tried to get up but he wouldnt let me so I sat back down. So I'm sitting there steaming because of that. Then, these girls come up to a new friend of mine, Bridget. They start talking trash to her about how she's going out with the guy that their friend likes. It's all really stupid. So, I yell over at them, (remember, I'm pissed off at this point) "Ya'll need to get over it, he doesn't like her, so fucking move on." (ok, not just pissed off furious) Then, Julian, without looking up, elbows me in the ribs. So, now that drama is over, I move to sit with Stefen and Jessica, because I need to chill. Zack comes up to me and says "What's wrong." I point at Julian. He goes over to talk to him and comes back to me and says that I have a right to be pissed off, and that he's being an asshole. So, he lets me punch him a couple of times to get a little anger out of me. And for the first time ever, I ended up hurting the guy. So finally Julian realizes that he's being dunce, and apologizes to me, but by then I'm crying.

I made new enemies, cried in public (again), and we lost our first football game 44 to 12.

A Little Something Something.

This is a little something I wrote about a couple of weeks back. Its about what I feel when I dance.

She was a good dancer, no scratch that, she was a great dancer. She had a passion for it and you could tell by the way she danced. Her whole day all she thought about was dancing, getting better, and learning now things. She loved the rush that she would get before performing in front of a crowd. Her dream was to become one of the best, and even though she knew she could never do it, she still dreamed about it all of the time.
She loves the smell of her old leather jazz shoes. She loves the way her feet felt naked when she wore them, and how everything was a little easier with the grips wore down from so much use. She can’t even describe what she feels when she’s dancing, not in words, and not even with feelings. The closest that she can get is that her heart soars, and her wings unfold to take her away when she’s even practicing.

She loves the closeness of a team. She loves the way that all of the separate minds can come together as one for a couple of minutes to show something beautiful. Every original style and every different strength coming together to form a perfect thing.

She loves the rush of performing. She loves that all of the days that she would spend on a routine would show. It would show in her body as she danced her heart out, on her face as she smiled like this was the most fun that she ever had. The rush that she would get before performing, and the sick feeling would make her love it only more. The stage would only come closer, and she would be on it, doing her best, and showing everyone what she can do. Having everyone there staring at you only made her want to do better. Only made her want to do better than she ever did before.

She loves the routines. It didn’t matter which one, she loved it. When there, you could let yourself go and clear your mind. You were forced to. If you didn’t then you messed up. Those small moments of calmness were what she looked for, what she longed for. The routine was all that mattered, it and you doing it.

But the thing the loves the most was the leaps. Every one that she did, she felt like she was flying, and she never wanted to come back down. She never wanted to put her feet back on the ground, ever. She wanted to keep going on and just fly off and toward bigger things.

She loves to dance. No one can, has, and ever will break her spirit. This is what she lives for. Nothing else matters, nothing but you, your team, and the routine.